English Fall 2009 - Latest comments on English A Book Review

In response to: English A Book Review

John [Member] — Thu, 05 Nov 2009 16:50:39 +0000

The draft IS worth looking at -- primarily because there is a disease going around Laurel's expository essay writers that says that first drafts have to be usable and functional and sensible -- hence there are no first drafts at all.

To publish your first draft is to provide example that sensible writing comes AS A PROCESS from the unusable, non-functional, and nonsensical drafts -- those drafts "not worth looking at" -- when building a draft that is worth looking at every writer "rough" drafts (like every painter sketches elements before attempting a "canvas")....

The word "essay" comes from the French "attempt" back to the Latin "weighing"

Writing an essay is putting your ideas to the test -- taking them for a jog -- not rigid marching to the truth -- show the Laurel others this distinction in a rough draft. (Need it typed in -- give me the notes and I'll transcribe....)

On your other questions -- I hope I made clear that as written your review is excellent (structure and content), yet the understatement of opinion is tantalizing, and as a reader, I felt this reviewer was clear yet holding back -- you seem to know (and have chosen) this understatement and that is all that counts....

It is said, in entertainment, "Always leave them wanting more..."

As to the ending, I'd say you can give a good review of 99% of books without totally spelling out the whole plot -- but this book is a true exception -- as a reviewer I would feel impelled to address McE's peculiar (or spectacular, I guess...?????) choice to end this book. (By the by, your review has the ending slightly, but significantly, different from my reading:

"The author tells us that Robbie was killed and Cecelia died a terrible death soon after the last time that Briony saw her, making it absolutely impossible to ever be acquitted."

My reading has it that B NEVER SEES/SPEAKS R or C again AT ALL, after that summer night -- ughh!!!!)

In response to: English A Book Review

Mellissa [Member] — Wed, 04 Nov 2009 14:18:30 +0000

Wow. Thank you John for editing this! I agree that the focus is rather imbalanced and lacking opinions of the characters, I only did this because I thought that it would be a rather a lot to include my opinions on everything. So I decided to just work on the plot summary and authors style. I will however go back in and add more about the characters. Should I not tell them about the ending? Not specifically anyway? I wasn't sure about that part.
Believe me, the very first draft is not worth looking at. And it only pertains (slightly) to the first paragraph of this paper. THIS is the first draft, and I will try to post the second this weekend.

In response to: English A Book Review

John [Member] — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 15:16:19 +0000

Mellissa--

An excellent review of this book -- easy to read, entertaining (often funny), detailed explication of the plot and characters with an unmistakable opinion. Our reviewer is even-handed enough that we can size up the entirety of the novel before we "pick up or put down"

My suggestions for improvements are made with trepidation because what you have here is cohesive and complete -- and I might instantly disagree with everything I will suggest when I would see the changes...

There is enough opinion in this review to spice up the summary, I do feel that our reviewer could have easily given us much more opinion about the characters and situations as presented and as experienced in reading. Especially the characters. Will we like the characters? Are they drawn too thinly? Where/how are we most drawn to these characters; where how are they laughable or unbelievable? A review is a place to blast out the interiors of a piece -- what works and what does not.

There is much such opinion in here of the author's pacing and structure but there could be more elaboration to the reader's delight:

- Slowness of start
- Great detail allows no reader imagination -- (mentioned but not elaborated)
-- Distractions of second half
-- Author's ending

There is little opinion about individual characters -- the real catty best of literature -- Robbie has "assumed love" is wonderfully understated absurdity but why be understated here? Let it all out! -- how did the reviewer and how will we experience each and how this experience changes.

Implicit is where the McEwan does well and more explicit where he does poorly -- he should called out by name for both good and bad; praised and bashed. (The quote is perfect -- yet implicitly "good on Ian McEwan" only)

There is too much a sense of "protecting the story line" -- "something appears to happen between Robbie and Cecelia"....what could this be????? -- that seems to curb the interpretation (the subtle interpretations are most magnificent -- "Briony apologizes, genuinely to both Robbie and Cecelia who can neither accept nor ignore her reparation." -- brilliantly pithy.) As reader I would have more of this interpretation despite the fact interpretation "ruins the fun" of letting the story unfold.

In total, my suggestions would have a subtle rebalancing -- cutting down some of the plot summary in favor of building up the opinion/interpretation of the reviewer's experience.

(And a minor technical editing note -- watch the possessives -- gardener's son; book's; et al. and "it's" means "it is")

Very accomplished draft -- (too bad we don't have the real first draft to see how our reviewer accomplished his high grade draft -- alas lost to the winds.....)

In response to: English A Book Review

Mellissa [Member] — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 04:05:13 +0000

thank you anna, for taking the time to read this- I didn't realize how long it was... google docs can be deceiving.

In response to: English A Book Review

Anna [Member] — Tue, 03 Nov 2009 02:47:54 +0000

Wow, Mellissa, your voice in this is incredible. Your personality translates amazingly into writing!